The bitchy sales girl..

This weekend has been a long one. And... I've been in the pits really all weekend. It all started with the bitchy sales girl at Buckle. I go there to buy most all of my jeans, because they have a couple brands that work well with the big bottom type. I tried on probably 7 styles all in the same size I've been wearing for about a year now. Well, they were tight, and I was having a hard time fitting into anything. I could not pull any of the jeans over my butt even. Well, the sales girl asked if I wanted to try the next size, so I said sure. She brought me a couple pairs that were all TWO sizes bigger, and I was like... okay.. cuz that is what I asked for. So I try them on, and they are way to baggy, especially in the crouch area and at the top/waist area. So she asks how I like them, and at Buckle you have to walk out of the fitting room to see in the mirror. So... I SHOWED her how they were so lose and I could pull a 3 inch gap at the top, and she asks then if I want the size between those two sizes. Well, duh... that's what I wanted the first time we got another size. But I said no, I just felt I was not having shopping luck today, and I will come back. I just didn't want to deal with this particular girl anymore who I really felt was judging me and not helping me.

SOOO... at Buckle they give you a fit card with the styles and sizes you wear so you can shop easier the next time. She offers to make me a new size card. I take it, before looking at what she wrote, and she wrote down the size that was too big on me!!! I know I am not skinny, but I do not need snotty skinny sales people making me feel worse about myself! And I am honestly the nicest person, and very friendly to people in customer service. I work in customer service too! I would never treat someone like that for any reason, like I was being taunted without there ever having to even been words said.

I wish I could just speak my mind sometimes! But, I never have been able to.. it is definitely a weakness. I hide my true feelings under a mask of friendliness, and it is not always time to be friendly!

So, with that being the start to my weekend, I would have to say that self esteem was at a minimum all weekend. Not to mention being blown off by a guy I was supposed to hang out with on Friday night. He TEXTED like a half hour before I was supposed to see him with some lame excuse. And considering I still haven't heard from him, I think I will be ignoring him next time he tries getting a hold of me. But, as always my girl friends were there to hang out with and have a good time!

I NEED a fresh start tomorrow. I need motivation and confidence. Hoping I wake up with a positive outlook on the week!!!

Alcohol is my dieting downfall!

I order gin and tonic or vodka and tonic when I go out, but even the alcohol alone with a no-calorie mixer is still around 100 calories a drink. Last night I had 4 gin and tonics... so 400 unnecessary calories after being so good and eating right all day. I don't go out every night or anything, it is usually once a week, twice at the most. I think it is hard being single out of a three year relationship because I want to be surrounded with friends and fun! I don't want to think about the ex, or think about new guys even, so I go out to have fun with my girl friends!



I wish I knew a way to overcome the calories on nights out. Maybe next time I should have a drink, then a water that looks like a drink (in a rocks glass with a lime), then a drink again? This way maybe I can cut half the calories and still have fun! I am going to give it a try next time I go out! I don't want to see all my hard work go down the drain because I want to have a few drinks every now and then...

Next time I go to Walmart I am getting a scale! I don't know my exact weight, and I need to keep track of it in the attempt to lose weight.

Kids eat for $1.99

That was the special at work today. The thing is, my coworkers also eat for 1.99, by ordering a kids meal (don't ask why we don't get discounted food, because it is just crazy to me). Well, I didn't eat anything from work today, because of my dieting.

BUT THE THING IS, the kids meal fills up most adults. Why do we, as Americans, put too much food on our plates? Even kids are being served more food then necessary, but especially most meals for adults! I give meals to people that are easily enough food for 2 or 3 meals, just to watch them chow down the whole plate of food! I think a huge part is the urge to finish what is on your plate. Also, I think as Americans we just eat too fast. We don't sit down and take our time as necessary, taking small bites and taking time to chew.

Working in restaurants is almost eye opening... because at times I will literally be astonished with how much or how fast people can eat. Don't be afraid to take leftovers home in a to-go box! I know I always do! Which is another reason I am touchy on the subject because having to constantly watch what you eat, or worry about your weight, is not an issue for everyone. I guess I am jealous of those customers I have come in at 130lbs and down a 1/2 lb cheeseburger and fries with no consequence! lol. How nice it would be to not worry!

Old Spice Commercial

I love the new old spice commercial with the man in the shower, then on a boat, then on a horse. SO FUNNY! here is a link... check it out!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/oldspice?feature=pyv&ad=3379911317&kw=old%20spice%20commercial&gclid=CISj9InBhqACFQENDQodoyQ7bw#p/u/0/owGykVbfgUE

So, this weekend I worked all weekend. No gym for me! Makes me totally bummed to not go to the gym... but with studying and working I rarely find the time. But I am a server, so constantly on my feet. I am hoping that helps a little bit! I speed walk around that restaurant all day! Also, At least I know I am eating really well. I have been eating gluten-free for a few weeks now, and since I am on this cleanse still I am making sure to eat tons of fruits and vegtables, lean protein, and whole grains. For lunch today I am going to make brown rice and chicken breast. I've been eating the rice plain.. thats the hardest part! Not supposed to have butter with this cleanse, or soy sauce.

Soon the cleanse will be over, but I will still try to eat as little processed food as possible. I just feel like it is loaded with things we were never meant to put into our bodies. It is hard when so much diet food is processed and packaged, and when life is busy it is so easy to grab! But I am going to really try to have some chicken breast always cooked and ready to heat and eat, and also stock up on my fruits and veggies.

Summer is so much of an easier time to eat the fruit and veggies though! Winter it takes a lot of power to eat healthy, all I want is warm comfort food! lol.

The men who love my booty phat!

To the men who love my booty phat, I love you! You make me smile when I feel depressed, by making comments about how curves are beautiful. In earlier times, a woman with curves would be desired more than a rail thin woman, but in today's society it is not the case! I am blessed to actually carry my weight in a curvaceous fashion.. it seems the extra weight I do have has chosen wisely of where to hang out.

So, men who love my booty phat, thank you for boosting my confidence when I feel down about myself. Thank you for recognizing the beauty in me, and appreciating that not every woman is shaped like a model. Thanks for staring, commenting, and approaching me because at those times I probably NEEDED it. lol!

Boring post about my day today!

I woke up, took the first day of the cleansing system thing I decided to use... So far no great discomfort or anything like I feared.. so that's good! Then I had a banana and peanut butter for breakfast, and took off for the gym. Today I did not do a long workout because I did not wake up as early as I would have liked, and knowing I needed to come home to study, I only did 40 min of cardio and then split.

Came home, and once set for the day I sat down to study. After an hour or so I ate lunch, some left over mahi-mahi and rice pilaf from dinner the other night. Got back to studying, but soon found myself craving a snack. Grabbed my trail mix from Trader Joes- SO GOOD! and had some of that.

My biggest fear being a waitress for now, is that when I go to work later from 5-11pm, I will obviously get hungry. All my shifts span over some sort of meal time. I need to be prepared so I do not eat crappy food, so I take things from home that are easy to snack on throughout the shift. Lots of times I bring trail mix and string cheese but the cleansing program does not recommend cheese during these 7 days. I am thinking some baby carrots...

HoPiNg ThIs HeLpS....

I am here now because of my long journey to lose weight. I can not remember a time that I have ever NOT been attempting to lose weight. Whether it was hitting the gym, dieting with every diet known to man, or buying some pill or whatever.

As I sit here... I am kinda teary eyed. Went to the doctor, stepped on the scale. I'm sure everyone knows the feeling. Saw a number I NEVER thought I would see. I just DON'T get it. I've been going to the gym... I need something new I suppose.

I am hoping by writing a blog I will be able to release some of the stress that probably does not help when trying to lose weight. And I also have a lot of other things going on in my life right now, so being able to write about them will be sure to help.

So today... picked up a cleansing system at GNC. The guy there was, of course, GORGEOUS, and he said he uses them every he begins a new diet. I'm of course thinking... why the hell is this amazing looking man dieting at all?! So, he said 2-3 times a year he does a cleanse. I have never done one, so I am going to give this one a try, and then attempt to eat just really good for my body. I honestly think that some people just have the weight loss struggle.. and some don't. I mean honestly, if you are lucky to be born into a gorgeous family then u are going to be gorgeous. I have family members that are overweight... I want to figure out how to control my weight before it is too late.

I feel like I am right there, right at that critical point. I am 23, and I need to lose it now before it is stuck on me.

Till next time..